There are times when life is kind of like a flood. You get washed away and there’s no traction to hold on to anything. I have wanted to update, share, encourage, inspire and more. I will explain and then some. Please enjoy the ride here, I have much to tell and hang in till the end. A year is a lot of catch up.
I have really wanted to give you an update with what happens when you ask this question “What would someone who loves themselves do?” I stepped into a new life on year two. Year one was all about discovering what it would be like (and then some) and year 2 was all about making the changes of what happened in year one. It was a very “take charge of change” kind of year.
In August last year, I went to a personal retreat called the “Happiness Retreat” and it was life changing. It was the beginning of understanding boundaries for the first time. It was really knowing how to separate “What’s mine and what’s yours”. Which then led to the choice of change.
Rewiring my brain. Didn’t even know that existed and now that seems to be all that I have done. I made a decision that I had it within my abilities to undo many of the patterns that kept me frozen and stuck. My limbic system was evident of that. From August – October I did EMDR. It’s a type of brain rewiring. And then I got a really big gift sent my way. It was on EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) with Nick Ortner. I decided to take a leap and try something that I hated for the last 8 years. I had been introduced to EFT with my first son the year he was born. I never thought I’d get past what happened. Because he was so alert and sensitive his first year, I was unable to apply the tapping while he was sleeping on my body. The vibration of it would wake him up, leaving me feeling like I was held hostage. I never wanted try it again. Then one day, Wayne Dyer introduced his friend Nick Ornter with the Tapping Solution. I was curious enough to try it and I am so grateful I did! I was completely surprised how given a different approach on the same subject made a difference. From October January I did a lot of EFT. It was amazing how effective it was on releasing the hooks and charges in my body. I got very very clear that my goal was emotional freedom. Not only was it my goal, it was working. Tapping is like having a magic wand in your finger. It is VERY cool.
I became really good at knowing the difference between reaction and resilience. I found myself freeing my body and mind up in ways I never knew possible. I have many many profound stories that I will share over time. Each one has helped many and inspired many. I just needed this time in my life to go inward and find the breakthroughs. There were so many. I was freed in so many ways I can’t say enough how absolutely magnificent things have changed. With my family and with all of my PTSD’s that I have carried. It’s like for every PTSD I had, 3 babies of PTSD’s were born. I was feeling like my world was getting smaller and smaller. That has all changed.
In January, I went to Maui to see Wayne Dyer give a conference on Forgiveness. There were many speakers that gave life changing points of view for me. Each speaker had their own message of healing for me. I will share these as well. By not having been on here for a while, I found it hard knowing how to jump back in without being weird that I was missing in action. I didn’t have a way of being open with the dialogue without sharing all the details.
I was able to fly on a plane with ease. I had great health on that trip (which was my biggest concern for my adrenals.) I never experienced any winter SAD that I have in the last 10 years. I was even able to travel to Florida with my family a week after my trip to Maui. I hadn’t been in 8 years and my father in law was begging me to come. He wanted to know if I could just drink enough wine to get there…”please will you just come”. I had so much PTSD from the trip 8 years ago I was so afraid to go. It was a success (minus the major panic attack that happened driving from West Palm Beach airport to Fort Lauderdale. Also, the airport leaving the kids car seats in Baltimore Maryland and driving the kids in Miami without any seats after a 22 hr day didn’t bode well with me or my nerves. I definitely lost it when I got to the car rental place for the seats).
As I crossed into the 2 year anniversary of this question I can see just how much change took place from year one to year two. Even though I didn’t ask the question daily the 2nd year, I was able to have a very different experience of what a living practice of Self-love looks like. It doesn’t look glamorous from the outside. It doesn’t look glamorous from the inside either, however what it does look like is resiliency. Choices made came from a very different place. There was also a devouring of new information, teachers, books, etc.
In June, I was very fortunate to have been able to go back to Maui. Yes, twice in one year is miraculous seeing I haven’t ever been before. I went to a writer’s conference with Wayne Dyer, Doreen Virtue, Nancy Levine and Reid Tracey. It was amazing. There were 500 writers in one room and the brilliance was beyond words. I learned so much and no stone was unturned. I have great clarity and that is where I come to you today.
I spent a lot of time building a relationship with all of my readers. And when I began working on my book (and raising a 2-year-old and 7-year-old) I found myself in a bind. I was losing my ability to be engaged with both avenues. I was only able to find the time for my book. It was a lot of editing and a lot of re editing and then more editing. This left me with little creative energy for my blog. Lesson learned. And I promise with this book there will be a lot more communication. I may even be asking for help with stories to share.
You are who I am writing this for. I choose to deliver to you what you desire to read. Without you, I have no one to inspire. I know that what I have learned has the ability to change someone’s life. I know that my stories mean something to more than just me. The tools I have picked up are invaluable. There is a lot of wisdom that has come through me. It is not mine, it’s in the universal language of healing that is for people who need the strength that I have carried.
In my awareness, I felt like I appeared hot and cold here, I was feeling bad that I was unable to be present with communicating my whereabouts. After all, I was in some form of coaching, therapy, or counseling for 3-4 days a week. It was a time for me to really change my reaction to the way everything came to me and start learning resiliency. And I did. Boy did I ever. It is very peaceful (for the most part) in my home. I still get angry and disregulated at times, but I am not disassociated as much (maybe once a week and sometimes once a month, as opposed to everyday). As I said, it was a time for breakthroughs- Breaking through the habits, breaking through the fears and illusions, breaking through the anger and resentment. Most of all, it was about learning how to be with me.
I am currently working on another book. It is something very special as I had a huge epiphany in Maui with it. I thought it was from the last 2 years. In fact, it is from the last 30 years. I will spend time sharing these stories from Maui over the next few weeks. It is summertime, and I will do my best to have some kind of schedule and discipline. With the kids out of school it’s not so straight forward. I may have to get up at 5 am…egads.
My Biggest Wish
It is without a doubt that coming here and writing to my audience that have taken an interest in my journey, means a lot to me. What would mean more for me is to be able to build a solid relationship with you, one full of dialogue, surveys, questions and more questions. I want to know what you would like me to write about. Your interests, the people who influence you the most. Whether you would rather do a teleconference with me on subjects that we can survey with. Whether you would like for me to have videos of simple exercises for bringing emotional freedom into your life. Ways to handle stress, ways to be creative, ways to manifest money and abundance, free classes (1 only or a series of 4 or 2 or 8). ARe you moms, are you young, seniors, been on a long healing journey or are new and stuck and seeking a new way of moving on. I am asking for feedback. I am asking for connection. I am asking so that I can share my stories that directly relate to your interest. I’d like to know if you’d like me to be interviewing others or having me be interviewed. I have had several offers and haven’t jumped into that quite yet. I will soon.
Are you interested in doing new moon calls with letters to the universe? We can do a brainstorming mastermind class. I am great at creating. Creating and healing. We can do calls for intuitive healings. I have a dear friend that does amazing hypnosis. We can do a call for any subject to get help with in your life. Would you like it in a private group/class or like a radio show. Meditations. Whatever you are looking for, let me cater it for you and build it with you. This is SO important to me. AND I choose for it to be fun and joyful.
There are so many ways for us to build a relationship and open dialogue. I can not do it alone. When I ask questions or have surveys, it is my hope that they mean something to you so I may bring value into your life. I am at the threshold of a new world here on my blog. After my writer’s conference (of which there is a contest in December for the winner to be published with Hay House publishing company) I was VERY clear that having a well established large platform matters to get published. I am in the process of creating that now.
My Facebook pages are being revamped over the next couple of weeks. I am combining my art, my blog and my website all in one. It matters apparently to publishing companies and agents to have thousands of LIKES on my Facebook page. I currently have 170. Hmmmm……what would it take to change that? Here is the link. Please if you have not connected with me on Facebook I am there a lot. I love posting quotes I write. I love sharing snippets of my family. My poetry. I love knowing more about you. Please take a moment and click here and LIKE my page and share and share and share. Sharing is Caring, right?
Finally, what if this became a family? You are my tribe. If you have connected with me, then you are one of my people. :-) What if I was able to create a brilliant place for us to contribute to one another? What if learning how to live a life of joy was easy? What if my courage and my words brought new awareness into your life and created more living for you? Please join me in this journey of being who you truly BE. I am walking into my fearlessness and it would be nice to know that you will catch me. What else is possible?
In gratitude, Shakti